Guest Blogger – Top Banana Galore

In the vein of Voreblog‘s popular “Scooter Thomas” posts, we here at Mindless Comfort decided to give the keyboard over to our resident stud, Top Banana Galore:

Show us what you're working with

Show us what you're working with

Banana is not as much of a scoundrel, or general ragamuffin, as Mr. Thomas, but we believe he has a lot to say. While he is not as highly educated (some say he has a pHd from the School of Hard Knocks), he more than makes up for it in down-home wisdom. Frankly, he’s the Andy Griffith of Clifton Heights, the Mark Twain of battle-state felines. Banana would not disclose his topic of choice for today’s post, so it must deal with an issue close to his heart. Perhaps it’s too much of a hot button topic to discuss at length in face-to-face discourse. Suffice to say, we’re intrigued. My guess is a three-thousand word rant on the theocracy in Iran, with a splash of midwestern witticism thrown in. So, without further adieu, we give you, Top Banana Galore:

*hands laptop over to Banana*

asd;ljkawefp[oi pwerl;nka ijweaopi[jweaoliwear09j23l;m’kkafssp[P]322

‘PKAQE

AFSP[JOAS[PJTJ9Q2390-JA

A

ASKSA’;KWAERHM;L”H

QW4ET’;’AG’KGQ,]Q

GH 4TTHJTY6I 6W34TQGT3QAKW

‘HFGJK876I95T

HKHQQWEO

WQE4=-95340IQ2

LAF

.V,\\-

*takes laptop back from banana*

Wait, wait, wait. I completely forgot. Banana is a cat. He doesn’t speak english, nor does he know how to type. Mostly, he just steps on the keyboard and then licks his butt for five minutes. How could I forget this simple fact? Oh, that’s right, it’s because I’ve been tricked by those faux-journalists over at Voreblog. I’ve been brainwashed to believe that a cat can read and write. I am not to be blamed here.

I’m furious. Simply steamed. Positively peeved. Incredibly irate. Seriously, are we to believe Scooter Thomas personally paw-typed all of those posts? He himself came up with each topic, used proper grammar, and then published them on the blog? I call shenanigans. This is what I think of Mr. Scooter Thomas:

Scooter Vanilli

Scooter Vanilli

This kitten is a fraud, and he should return all the blog awards and acclaim he has received in recent months. Unless definitive proof can be given that he did indeed concoct all those hilarious essays, I call for a boycott of our beloved Voreblog. The people have been slapped in the face, their appreciation for the blog physically violated.

Journalistic integrity is an important thing. It should never be taken for granted. Slightly “smudging the truth” is simply taking the easy way out. This reeks of Stephen Glass and his scandal over at The New Republic. You see where that got him, Vores? Come clean now, and perhaps your careers here at wordpress.com can be salvaged.

Only you can save yourself

Only you can save yourself

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1 Comment

Filed under kitten journalism, scandals, top banana galore, voreblog

One response to “Guest Blogger – Top Banana Galore

  1. Pingback: Scooter Thomas Answers His Critics « What We Talk About When We Talk About Blogging

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