Joe the Plumber? More like Joe Camel

I’m absolutely baffled by the RNC’s lack of focus. There it is, right in plain view, the strongest “This guy ain’t ready to lead” argument yet. How they have not rammed this tidbit down the collective throats of the American people is beyond my comprehension. Here I sit, a set in my ways Obama supporter, and after learning of this information, even I have to question if the guy has the mettle to take the reins of the biggest, baddest, bucking bronco in the world. Where’s Karl Rove when you need him? Lee Atwater? Effing Richard Nixon?!?! What kind of incompetent boobs are running that place? This is a no-lose gimme, and these people are taking a mulligan with that whopping shank into the trees (Bill Ayers) and moving to the next tee. Ridiculous.

In fact, the only reason I learned this doozy was because I was reading closely to this article on Politico. If I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have glossed over the measly one sentence written on the subject. In case you didn’t notice yourself, here it is:

Obama, who continues struggling to quite smoking and has a family history of cancer..

What?!? He’s a smoker??!! A weak-willed, Nicorette chewing, tobacco fiend? You’re telling me the guy with the balls to sit down with Hugo Chavez doesn’t have the sack to stop inhaling fire? This is insanity. I can’t vote for a guy that would nominate a surgeon general one day, and then completely ignore his/her warnings that are clearly printed on each box of menthols the next. And, no, I don’t think he smokes menthols just because he’s black. I think he smokes menthols because they taste like mint and he’s an elitist.

Anyway, why isn’t this being pushed? The guy obviously has no backbone. He’s weak. When trouble comes a knockin’, he runs through the back door and lights up, slowly whispering as he rocks back and forth, “Sweet, sweet, nicotine. Take away the pain, baby girl.” McCain’s beaten cancer like 24 times at this point, and yet, Obama seems to be daring cancer to come tickle his insides with sadness fingers.

I can see it now, Sean Hannity proclaiming Obama’s addiction as the “ultimate weakness,” as Anne Coulter giggles in the background, “Silly blackie, doesn’t he know cocaine gets you more high AND helps you lose weight?” This missed opportunity will haunt John McCain for the rest of his life, which I guess will be about 2 years. The American people have no idea how weak-willed Obama may actually be. Sure, they’re absolutely positive he’s an Arab that drove the second plane into the tower as he parachuted to safety directly into the Senate, but do they know the actual truth? I do, and it’s killing me.

I really thought I knew this guy. He promoted unity and togetherness, but now when I look at him, I can only think about how awful his jackets must smell. This just makes me want to stay away from him. This isn’t brotherhood, it’s a separation of the smelly from the unsmelly. This is not the change we need. What he needs is a fresh change of clothes. And maybe new pair of lungs. You’re not the man I thought you were, Barack Hussein Obama. Turns out, you have more in common with Lindsey Lohan than John F. Kennedy. Where’s your can of Red Bull? I give up.


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Filed under obama, smoking is bad for you

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